Tuesday, March 13, 2012

The "Weight-ing" Game Continues...

"If you want something to change, do something different..."- Mr. Joe Thrower

I remember hearing this every other day while I spent most of my high school career in the many choral ensembles of RHS.  The Thrower-ism is in plain English and made sense every time he said it as well what context he was applying it to.

Somehow it just didn't click until now...

Based on society standards, I have been plus size all my life.  I've dealt with self-esteem issues, random starve yourself skinny diets and everything else in between.  Ironically, none of these were because I wanted to look different.  I wanted to lose weight to stop hearing the "fat" jokes.  I wanted to stop hearing that close friends of mine were always questioned as to why they hung out with me?  Because of course, skinny, pretty, and popular people do not associate with people like me.

Despite all this I still participated in many organizations and tried out for things, "big girls don't normally go out for..."

That last statement brought on hysterical laughter....anyway...

Once I came to the point that I wanted to make a change and saw that the change was happening, I freaked out.  What happens if I do drop this weight and feel amazing in my skin, in my clothes, and now I'm getting made fun of for something else?  So self-sabotage commenced...

Recently, I've come to terms with a lot of things.  I have embraced my curves and I will wear the hell out of some jeans that hug me the right way.  (Pick your own word) whoever doesn't like me for whatever reason.

With that being said, I decided that I want to have a healthy lifestyle and I don't have to be a size 0 to have it.  I'm excited about my lifestyle change and whether I'm going to be a size 0 or a size 28, I need to control my thinking and be happy with who I am.  Keep you posted on the journey!

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