Friday, March 23, 2012

The Elixir of Love...

What if you could just swallow an elixir to forget how you feel?

As any high school age girl should be expected, I was into the Buffy and Angel universe...Will they or won't they be together?  At some point, as you grow older, you expect to stop living in the fantasy world and figure out what life REALLY is...

Now being 26, the plots for the preteen shows of today haven't really changed...and yet I still find myself reverting back to the thought process of what it was like to be in high school and yearn for that ONE boy to like you.

Fortunately or unfortunately, I never got that ONE boy and I thought I was over this particular stage of my life....this week's The Secret Circle proved me wrong.

Now, my life is no where near as dramatic has the characters played on my DVR, but they do tend to strike a nerve every so often...

So what would you do if you could take an elixir to forget how you truly felt about someone?  Honestly, I think I would have given my right arm for something like that during the summer of 2010.  The person, I was completely head over heels in love with told me he had fallen out of love with me...

It felt as though someone ripped out my heart and punched me in my stomach at the same time.  The relationship ended six months later.  Now, almost two years have gone by and I'm still holding to this pain I didn't even know I still had.  Pain that a TV show can make me relive; pain when asked the right question can bring me to tears, pain that I wouldn't even wish on my worst enemy.

There are so many questions I have that will never be answered and although I have forgiven him on what he did, I haven't forgiven myself for allowing it to happen.  I don't think I know how to...

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