Sunday, July 29, 2012

30 Days = Habit

Good Morning!

Because of all the hilariously off the wall themes that happen in my everyday dating life, I decided to take the advice of a friend and go on a 30 day "man fast."  So far it's only been about 5 days and I'm amazed at the things I have learned not only about myself but the type of men I seem to gravitate to.

A man I had been talking to for awhile was not only interested in getting to know me but also wanted to meet because of our shared passion and business sense of music.  It felt more like a meet and greet rather than a date.  When I got there, a family member had informed me he needed to run to the store and he would be back soon. 

Once inside the studio, it seemed that everyone else was more interested in speaking with me and getting to know me and my talent than the dude who invited me.  When he did talk to me he was all over me and not really making coherent conversation.  This was such an odd event, I'm still not entirely sure what to make of it.

I spent most of the night talking with his cousin and his younger brother kept making comments along the lines of why didn't he meet me first?  The man who invited me was too drunk apparently to care that I was even there and so I made two new acquaintances from his family.  Not a total bust. I of course let Mr. Rude know about his lack of manners and he of course had nothing to say and just ignored the situation.

I digress. I seem to attract men that are lacking one of the three basics:

                1. Consistent Paying Job.
                2. A Driver's License and A Car.
                3. A place to live.

There are many other qualities that I want and feel I deserve to have in whomever I decide to spend my time with, but these are the bare minimum requirements.

Lately, I'm attracting men who either don't have a job, don't have a car or had a felony at one point in time .  They usually have about 10K kids with 50 "Baby Mommas."  Now if they actively take care of and participate in their kids' lives (all 10k of them) then I don't have an issue, but you have to wonder about their commitment capabilities.

Maybe I'm stuck in the bad boy loop or maybe because of my credentials, they think they have a chance with me...who knows?  Still figuring out these ever present Dating Dilemmas...

The SingleGirl

Friday, July 20, 2012

Scooby Snacks.....?

So like any average 20-something I have continued my always interesting venture of dating...

I've met a variety of people both on and and off the Internet and it ALWAYS turns into a learning experience; whether good or bad, wisdom is to be had.

Despite all the rhyming, I'd like to pose a question.  Is there a disconnect between what the brain thinks and the mouth speaks when it comes to interacting with the opposite sex?  I'm one of those females that would be completely content with, "Hi.  My name is John.  What's your name?"  Before you know it an actual conversation is to be had.

Maybe this is old-fashioned thinking but I truly appreciate simplicity when it comes to getting to know me or being approached.

Earlier today, I signed on to my online profile and discovered I had new comments on my pictures.  Most of the picture comments were "I like this photo."  However, one picture had a comment that stood out to me, "Nice Snack." 

What?

This could be taken a number of ways however most of them made me feel like I should take a long shower.  So when you need input, where do you go?  Facebook of course!!

See the thread here: https://www.facebook.com/Tiffany.Ariel85/posts/10100762945787530?notif_t=feed_comment#!/Tiffany.Ariel85/posts/10100762945787530?notif_t=feed_comment

Some reactions were laughter, some hostility, and some involved a fairly cool comeback that I may have to induct into my vocabulary repertoire (Thanks Mom)!

What happened to people just talking to each other, without having to add a corny line or potentially offensive comment just to get some one's attention?  I would think it would be easier to say "Hi" then to try to come up with something creative.  Creativity provides you with a 50/50 chance that you will either get knocked up side the head or a phone number.

If you have an 85% success rate or better with your creativity, then you have found your niche and more power to you.  However, if statements like "Nice Snack," is the best you can come up with, then changing it up to "Hi" may increase your number-obtaining statistics.

Like Mr. Gump said "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get." 

Fellas a word of advice, this applies to women too!

The SingleGirl

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

That Age Old Adage...

Do you remember the saying "Sick and tired of being sick and tired...?"

I used to think only people that were too melodramatic would utilize this phrase...and now, here I am seeing exactly what they meant.

I've loved and lost.  Been loved and didn't want it.  The pursuer and the pursu-ee and everything else in between.

Frankly, I'm tired.

Life after 25 is a new experience.  Your eyes start seeing what your gut was telling you from the beginning.  You start taking your every day experiences seriously and you don't always feel like you are invincible and on top of the world  (Remember 18 :)).

I feel like I keep asking my self questions like "When is my life going to start?"  "Is this all there is for me?"  Eventually you have to wonder if maybe you should be doing something to change your life, your perspective.  And then there's the "What the hell am I supposed to be doing?"

My job is a job that pays bills.
Dating is a migraine.
Finances cause a Crohn's outbreak.

I'm not doing what I want/need/crave/purposed to be doing...

SingleGirl Dilemmas

Friday, April 20, 2012

Self-Sabotage

What happens when you're blessed enough to find that one?  The counterpart to your soul; the one that is supposed to make falling in love and sharing yourself easy...

Then by the time you're somewhat sold on your emotions and feelings for that person, they disappear?

I've heard people say that Love is a chemical response.  I don't know if I necessarily agree with that.  On a scientific level, I'm sure there are numerous formulas and graphs to prove me otherwise, but it seems so much deeper than that.

Love is a choice.

I've made the conscious choice to love you despite your flaws, your mistakes, your past and everything you, me or society has deemed as negative.  However when people receive this wonderful gift from someone, we have a tendency to freak out and try to give it back or run away from it.

I'm guilty of the freaking out part and over-analyzing every little detail.  No one wants to get hurt again or is willing to put themselves out there to be hurt.  I personally didn't think I could feel this way again.  I thought my heart was closed off to these emotions or too damaged to even entertain the idea of love again.  And yet here it is/was...

I don't know if this was a test to get me to open up again or if something really amazing is about to take place.  I'm still nervous and giddy about all these emotions but I can't say I have ever felt this kind of calm before.

To be continued...

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Congratulations, you have now reached the SHOW ME state...

So the dating game is an interesting concept.  When you're still discovering who you are, who you want to and where you're wanting your life to go, dating can be an unnecessary headache.

Lately, I'm discovering things I don't want when I meet a man, so you can only imagine how ecstatic I was when I actually met someone that was too good to be true.

Handsome, smart, goal-oriented, affectionate and could cook like a gourmet chef.  Before I even said anything, he was already talking about what he was looking for: A good woman, settling down, children;  On top of the other things he was already accomplishing. This beautiful chocolate man was a keeper.  So what happened?

In the five days that we had finally met after having multiple conversations six weeks prior, he had stood me up 4 times and stopped returning my calls and texts for no speakable reason.  When he finally did call back, he told me he was shutting me out due to the things he was going through at the time.  Now granted he has a valid reason, based on the situation that happened to him...but when a woman finally allows herself to hope again, she starts to wonder that if she is the problem or if it's the men she chooses to give the time of day?

So what's more heart-breaking than heartbreak?  Allowing yourself to hope that you may have finally found someone to pick up the pieces and put them back together...

Man-cation is back on...

Friday, March 23, 2012

The Elixir of Love...

What if you could just swallow an elixir to forget how you feel?

As any high school age girl should be expected, I was into the Buffy and Angel universe...Will they or won't they be together?  At some point, as you grow older, you expect to stop living in the fantasy world and figure out what life REALLY is...

Now being 26, the plots for the preteen shows of today haven't really changed...and yet I still find myself reverting back to the thought process of what it was like to be in high school and yearn for that ONE boy to like you.

Fortunately or unfortunately, I never got that ONE boy and I thought I was over this particular stage of my life....this week's The Secret Circle proved me wrong.

Now, my life is no where near as dramatic has the characters played on my DVR, but they do tend to strike a nerve every so often...

So what would you do if you could take an elixir to forget how you truly felt about someone?  Honestly, I think I would have given my right arm for something like that during the summer of 2010.  The person, I was completely head over heels in love with told me he had fallen out of love with me...

It felt as though someone ripped out my heart and punched me in my stomach at the same time.  The relationship ended six months later.  Now, almost two years have gone by and I'm still holding to this pain I didn't even know I still had.  Pain that a TV show can make me relive; pain when asked the right question can bring me to tears, pain that I wouldn't even wish on my worst enemy.

There are so many questions I have that will never be answered and although I have forgiven him on what he did, I haven't forgiven myself for allowing it to happen.  I don't think I know how to...

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

The "Weight-ing" Game Continues...

"If you want something to change, do something different..."- Mr. Joe Thrower

I remember hearing this every other day while I spent most of my high school career in the many choral ensembles of RHS.  The Thrower-ism is in plain English and made sense every time he said it as well what context he was applying it to.

Somehow it just didn't click until now...

Based on society standards, I have been plus size all my life.  I've dealt with self-esteem issues, random starve yourself skinny diets and everything else in between.  Ironically, none of these were because I wanted to look different.  I wanted to lose weight to stop hearing the "fat" jokes.  I wanted to stop hearing that close friends of mine were always questioned as to why they hung out with me?  Because of course, skinny, pretty, and popular people do not associate with people like me.

Despite all this I still participated in many organizations and tried out for things, "big girls don't normally go out for..."

That last statement brought on hysterical laughter....anyway...

Once I came to the point that I wanted to make a change and saw that the change was happening, I freaked out.  What happens if I do drop this weight and feel amazing in my skin, in my clothes, and now I'm getting made fun of for something else?  So self-sabotage commenced...

Recently, I've come to terms with a lot of things.  I have embraced my curves and I will wear the hell out of some jeans that hug me the right way.  (Pick your own word) whoever doesn't like me for whatever reason.

With that being said, I decided that I want to have a healthy lifestyle and I don't have to be a size 0 to have it.  I'm excited about my lifestyle change and whether I'm going to be a size 0 or a size 28, I need to control my thinking and be happy with who I am.  Keep you posted on the journey!

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

The "Weight-ing" Game

"I'm not really into heavy lifting tonight..."

This lovely little comment has been ringing through my head since Friday evening after a pretty spectacular "Girl's Night Out."

Ironically, every time I go out, I'm reminded of what little confidence I have in my own skin.  Regardless of how much weight I lose or keep, I will never be a size 0...nor would I want to be.  I enjoy my curves and I like how the silhouette of my body looks in a ncie pair of jeans.

Now I run into the problem of waiting for someone who not only appreciates my personality but also that "silhouette" in or out of a nice pair of jeans :).

So now, as a woman, I'm trying to figure out the balance between being healthy and living a healthy lifestyle for myself or losing weight for the attention of ignorant men like the one made the lovely comment listed above...

To Be Continued

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Dating Dilemmas....

I feel like this is turning into a tell all of my non-existent social life but here it goes...

For as long as I can remember I have heard the phrase "your time will come."  I cannot tell you how much this phrase irks the hell out of me. Half the people I went to high school with have been married, divorced, married again and working on the .5 of the 2.5 kids they already have...no exaggeration.

I'm 26, never been married, no kids, have a Master's Degree, pay my own bills etc etc etc...so why is it so difficult to find chemistry or attraction with a man of the same caliber?  I seem to be running into two types of men.....guys who fit that caliber and only looking for sex or guys whom have a major attraction but none of the basics (i.e. job, car or transportation of some sort...) and 20 kids with 5 babies' mommas.

Makes a woman just want to throw in the towel and head to the closest convent and sign up for the nun order...this is a tad extreme but I can't help what I feel....

End of rant and back to work.....