Saturday, September 17, 2011

On This Month In 2010....

So Facebook has this new application that tells you what your status was in 2010.  Normally, it's pretty interesting but the month of September has been a month I didn't realize I was not looking forward to going down memory lane...

September 7th was our designated anniversary, and apparently I put all my issues aside to feign happiness and wish him "happy anniversary..." What the hell did we have to celebrate?  Me losing my job and having to move back in with my parents or was it the fact you cheated on me multiple times?  I know I can't change my past and there is no reason to beat myself up over something that is over and done with, but it feels like all aspects of my life have thrown me right back into the thoughts and emotions I was dealing with at this time.

I don't want to go back to having to beg someone to spend time with me; someone who used me for what I could and would do for them because I loved them; someone who didn't believe that my heart was worthy enough to be taken care of...

It's been almost 11 months since I left and yet it still hurts.  Ironically, the reason I'm hurting has nothing to do with him.  I'm hurting, because somewhere down the line, I forgot my worth.  I decided it was ok for this man to cheat, lie, and take over, over and over again.  I NEVER want to be here again!

As of today, you are no longer welcome in my heart or in my head.  As you never loved me, I want it to be as if I had never known you.  The slate has been wiped clean...you're done and so am I...

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